When Times Are Tough

I've been reluctant to give myself a toss here for I've been bombarded with the cold weather and hectic school schedules(and with this annoying colds and cough in my system, I'm totally paralysed). It feels like the degenerative stage have been empirically illustrated from here on, especially when apathy is all around. Sometimes, when I'm fed up with this laziness, I can't but think of the possibilities that my innocent existence would be jeopardise anytime. And the possibilities of it has been at greater proportion when it does happen to me at a wrong time.

There have been times when my irresponsibility have knocked me out and totally absorbed me for being a slothful jerk, cautiously ending up doing works half baked. I detest that sometimes, in my awful presence I often hardly  retrieve myself  from such ginormous dilemma. And I for the love of me can be fully regretful of the things that had been happening to me lately.

Take for example, there have been couple of times I came in late for school because I've been in a dormant state for quiet sometime. And with a freezing weather, to hibernate is tempting. As a result, I screwed myself for receiving such disgraceful remark. Excluding the times I received bunch of reprimands for anticipating such inactive pursuit. In short, I've been a lazy jerk. I deserve such insults.

In wake of despair, I have been meaning for the solution of this  insincerity and laziness. It's almost killing me.

At times, I manage to install a hormone-induced energy just to overthrow such unhealthy level of sanity, but my filthy mind seems to have a life of its own. It feels its killing me.

In all apologies, I deliver to you myself humbled and partly humiliated.

My laziness is one of  a chronic illness, it suppressed my willpower to act interestingly. I need SOMETHING or SOMEONE to inspire me. At least somehow it will steam me.