It took me quite sometime before I finally had the guts to share one of my unpublished notes. My pleasure and honor to reveal a reality that is significant to my readers. A note of indecent addiction, crazed by madness, puzzled by the enigma that lies within me... but it doesn't matter if people condemn my playstyle. Who cares if sometimes my play pays off into godlike moment. This is my pure play.
In my conquest of time to fill up the gap I missed in my existence I still find myself doing pity works that has nothing to do with my real life. My innocent years covered those memories I merely can't forget. Thus in my lonely presence I find myself shackled by the holographic universe that can't be undo. This is surely a big deal... and dota played a big part of it.
A struggle with addiction in dota is never ordinary. Never easy as blowing a candle on a cake and light it again for another blow. Never the same as eating a ripe banana in just an instance. This is my story.
A bit horrible to look back to my past seeing my history in the arena of torment. It was the time of my struggle to addiction with dota. During those times when I almost profess myself to the vendetta of my stupidity. The times when I would drop by the computer shop and cascade the whole day playing dota. I even managed to conceal my most priorities just to have the pleasure of playing. There were even times when I would just buy a couple of biscuits and a cold soft drink just to compensate my empty stomach. And that was good for a day meal at the computer shop. I even ignored my important appointments for matters related to family and school just to play dota again. I was becoming wicked even to the point that I was misleading the right way. I even called the computer shop as my working office. I was already at the peak of prodigy to the extent of disregarding my own needs and my studies. I was falling into nothing but emptiness. I found myself in the middle of nothing. "Vanity!"
A tragedy that once came into my life yet destructive. But I just like doing those things. Aside from the presence of my friends there was also the atmosphere of enjoyment. It wasn't insanity, it was a mere product of my scrupulous and retarded living.
But here is the point...
Though I prepared to settle first in dota than other important priorities still this is a thing I would never carry for the rest of my life. NEVER ONCE IN MY LIFE I FALL IN LOVE WITH DOTA. truth it must but it's the reality. I CAN NEVER LIVE BY DOTA ALONE. The people who value and love me and the people I value and love are the ones who really complete me. And this is the whole reason why I made this note. A message I would like to relay to the readers. Real life has more to give more than just dota.
If people say "I love dota!" it's completely hypocrisy. Because temporary happiness are just meant for temporary things. This might be true because even the world's greatest players can also prove the fact that they can never live by dota alone. Be it pub game or competitive game, it does not matter. To whatever position you have or to where in the world you are it also does not matter.
The people around who made me whole will always be the reason why I'm playing and why I'm continuously living. I trained hard, I worked hard. this is worth my play.
Others said, dota is a stress reliever. And I said, yes it is! It helps relieve the agony from love problems, school problems, family problems,etc. Hope you agree with me.
By the way, the insist of my want to play dota won't be closed by this point. Time will tell when. I still want to cherish the realm of my immaturity. It just feels good to play. The best of me is also the worst of me.
Discipline and control of temper were my greatest learnings in playing dota. Those learnings, though simple and biased, are the things I will surely treasure for the rest of my life.
In my conquest of time to fill up the gap I missed in my existence I still find myself doing pity works that has nothing to do with my real life. My innocent years covered those memories I merely can't forget. Thus in my lonely presence I find myself shackled by the holographic universe that can't be undo. This is surely a big deal... and dota played a big part of it.
A struggle with addiction in dota is never ordinary. Never easy as blowing a candle on a cake and light it again for another blow. Never the same as eating a ripe banana in just an instance. This is my story.
A bit horrible to look back to my past seeing my history in the arena of torment. It was the time of my struggle to addiction with dota. During those times when I almost profess myself to the vendetta of my stupidity. The times when I would drop by the computer shop and cascade the whole day playing dota. I even managed to conceal my most priorities just to have the pleasure of playing. There were even times when I would just buy a couple of biscuits and a cold soft drink just to compensate my empty stomach. And that was good for a day meal at the computer shop. I even ignored my important appointments for matters related to family and school just to play dota again. I was becoming wicked even to the point that I was misleading the right way. I even called the computer shop as my working office. I was already at the peak of prodigy to the extent of disregarding my own needs and my studies. I was falling into nothing but emptiness. I found myself in the middle of nothing. "Vanity!"
A tragedy that once came into my life yet destructive. But I just like doing those things. Aside from the presence of my friends there was also the atmosphere of enjoyment. It wasn't insanity, it was a mere product of my scrupulous and retarded living.
But here is the point...
Though I prepared to settle first in dota than other important priorities still this is a thing I would never carry for the rest of my life. NEVER ONCE IN MY LIFE I FALL IN LOVE WITH DOTA. truth it must but it's the reality. I CAN NEVER LIVE BY DOTA ALONE. The people who value and love me and the people I value and love are the ones who really complete me. And this is the whole reason why I made this note. A message I would like to relay to the readers. Real life has more to give more than just dota.
If people say "I love dota!" it's completely hypocrisy. Because temporary happiness are just meant for temporary things. This might be true because even the world's greatest players can also prove the fact that they can never live by dota alone. Be it pub game or competitive game, it does not matter. To whatever position you have or to where in the world you are it also does not matter.
The people around who made me whole will always be the reason why I'm playing and why I'm continuously living. I trained hard, I worked hard. this is worth my play.
Others said, dota is a stress reliever. And I said, yes it is! It helps relieve the agony from love problems, school problems, family problems,etc. Hope you agree with me.
By the way, the insist of my want to play dota won't be closed by this point. Time will tell when. I still want to cherish the realm of my immaturity. It just feels good to play. The best of me is also the worst of me.
Discipline and control of temper were my greatest learnings in playing dota. Those learnings, though simple and biased, are the things I will surely treasure for the rest of my life.
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